Growing Up Unitarian Universalist
Wendy O’Brien
Church of the Unity, Unitarian
Universalist
October 30, 2005
1 used as my opening words this
morning the covenant of the Unitarian Univeralists. It is a covenant of
peace, tolerance, love for each other and the world, and love for
ourselves as individuals. I believe that growing up in the Unitarian
Universalist faith was formative in instilling these beliefs in myself
and they carry through in my actions today, even as I raise my young
son.
This morning I would like to take
some time to describe what it was like growing up as a Unitarian
Universalist. When Reverend Jennie gave me the small book “100
Questions that Non-Members Ask About Unitarian Universalism,”
upon becoming a member of this church, I was somewhat shocked to read
that, “About 80 percent of today’s members grew up in a
faith other than Unitarian Universalism.” I feel as though I am
one of the privileged few to have grown up as a Unitarian Universalist.
In the adult education class offered here last year, I found out what
it was like for others raised in different religions. Some members held
an incredible burden of guilt from their previous religious
experiences. To grow up as Unitarian Universalist is to be given a
solid foundation of moral principles with a healthy dose of self
esteem. Through religious education classes from first grade through
high school, I had the chance to build a firm, solid base of self
esteem that has helped me carry through some of the principles of
Unitarian L1niversalism, even in the face of opposition, even when it
felt as though I was the only voice being heard. For example, to remain
strong in ones conviction for peace and tolerance in the face of the
hatred following 9/11 — to place the anti-war bumper sticker on
my car — I was scared for a time, to go against the tide of
patriotism that was sweeping the nation. But my strong beliefs told me
that this was the right thing to do.
My parents entered the Unitarian
church in Keene, New Hampshire, when I was in first grade. Our family
became very involved in the church, as my parents taught church school
and served on the Religious Education committee. I don’t remember
much of the early years, except for a fascinating unit where we were
able to visit various other churches in the Keene area. 1 remember
being astounded by the golden icons of the Greek Orthodox church,
confused by the embroidered kneeling benches of the Episcopal church,
and wonder at the communion at the Catholic Church. However I do
remember a great deal more from when I was a teenager. This was my
chance to serve the church, and I did so in a variety of ways. I had
the opportunity to sing in the youth choir, serve as the first student
liaison to the Religious Education Committee, and best of all, earned
scholarships to attend Young Adult week at Star Island. For those of
you who don’t know, Star Island is a conference center on the
isles of Shoals, off the coast of New Hampshire. it is shared by the
Unitarian lJniversalists and the United Church of Christ [?i. Each year
the Unitarian Universalists have a variety of week long conferences,
filled with workshops, nightly candle lit worship services in the
chapel, and plenty of time for introspection among the rocky cliffs and
waves. As a child, I attended the Family Religious Education week, for
the parents who were educators in the Unitarian Universalist church
schools and their children.
Later, as i grew older, I
attended the Young Adult week, which is completely organized by the
older youth, with minimal adult involvement. This happened to be my
first time away from home by myself, and what a joy to be surrounded by
other youth holding the same values and ethics. For even though the
community of the Keene Unitarian Universalist church is much larger
than the one here, few young adults continued to this level in the
church school. These conferences gave me the opportunity to be with my
peers of a similar mind, and led to tremendous personal growth. To
realize that one is not alone in ones beliefs is comforting, and gives
one courage to stand for what one believes to be right.
Once I went away to Boston for
college, church fell by the wayside. Getting up for a 10:00 am.
service, even though the very birthplace of Unitarian Universalism on
Arlington Street was only 3 subway stops away, was too much for me.
Like many young adults, I needed to separate from my family, and this
was one way of doing so. In the subsequent years, my career took
precedence, and all thought -of returning to church as an adult did not
even occur to me.
But something was missing out of
my life, and it wasn't until I had an intense personal crisis that I
saw I had no spiritual aspect in my life. Plagued with thought of
suicide, I was sent to an out-patient hospitalization program. Every
Wednesday of the program, the hospital chaplain came and led an
interdenominational worship service. Several fellow patients were "Born
Again Christians" and I so much wanted to be like them, for they seemed
so strong in their beliefs and it gave them such solace. One woman even
lent me a book, and I tried to read it, to grasp at the sense of
belonging to a belief that people can believe blindly, and be taken
care of by a benevolent God. During each service I cried, miserable in
the fact that 1 was so alone, separated even from my peers since 1 did
not believe in a God who would fix all of my problems for me. I had
grown up in a different religious construct, for example "While most
people turn to religion for comfort, and for answers that are beyond
challenge, Unitarian Universalism challenges the person to find his or
her own answers." (from 100 Questions about Unitarian Universalism.)
it was at this time that 1 pulled
out a letter I had received from Reverend Jennie some time ago,
inviting me to attend the Church of the Unity. Here, I thought, here is
a place where 1 might find the missing spirituality, with people who
believe that faith comes from oneself Why not go back to the church
that was so integral in forming my values of compassion, peace, and
tolerance? It took me a long time to screw up my courage to attend my
first service here in May a year and a half ago, and even longer still
before I would go down to the coffee hour and talk with people (I still
have a problem with this!) But here 1 have found the missing piece, my
inner spark.
But had I ever really lost my
inner spark in the first place? I may have forgotten it in the formal
way of attending services, but I carried it through in the ways that I
lived. 1 always took care to respect the inherent worth and dignity of
every person — these feelings come automatically to me. Once when
there was a fire alarm in college, a person in a wheelchair was
frightened about how he was going to get out of the building. The rest
of the class left him behind, except for myself and one other person.
It wasn't a conscious thought to help him, instead it was automatic. I
attribute this to my Unitarian Universalist upbringing.
The second tenet of our covenant,
"Justice, equality, and compassion in human relations," also comes very
easily to me. It was truly painful to watch my mother-in-law, having
been raised Catholic and then switched to "Born Again Christian," deal
with the acceptance of her son being gay. For me I didn't even have to
think about it — 1 loved my brother-in-law just the same.
Instead, Mary Jane had to confront the very core of her beliefs, which
teach that homosexuality is abhorrent. Thankfully, she made the right
decision she left the Foursquare church in order to support her son
Brian. She lost many friends due to this decision, but retained the
connection and love of her son.
I find the sixth tenet, "The goal
of world community with peace, liberty and justice for all," is also
easily accomplished, in small ways. Participation in anti-war protests,
placing bumper stickers on my car, financial contributions to
organizations with these same goals — these are the small ways
that I impact the world community. "Respect for the interdependent web
of all existence of which we are a part," can be performed through the
simple acts of recycling, taking good care of our land, and choosing
which products we use around the home.
I am still working on many of the other covenants of our
church — and that is why they are there, they are goals to be
worked towards. While "acceptance of one another," comes easily to me,
"encouragement to spiritual growth in our congregations," is harder. I
feel that by teaching the very youngest members of our church, I am
passing on the same moral values, tolerance for others, and self esteem
that I learned as a child. The esoteric, "A free and responsible search
for truth and meaning," leads to a high level of self introspection,
something that I hope to be able to do more of. "The right of I
conscience and the use of democratic process within our congregations
and in society at large," is also
difficult for me. I need to speak my mind more in the various
committees and Boards of which I am a part, rather than standing by
quietly.
Currently in our preschool class, we are exploring our bodies
— our feet, hands, ways that we move. Each week I affirm that
each child is special and distinctive. Simple as this concept may be,
it lays the strong foundation of self esteem that will be built upon
not only in next levels of church school, but values that will be
carried throughout their lives. Just like Ferdinand in the children's
story I read earlier, our children need the courage to stand for what
they feel is right, and to think clearly for themselves. As the
teaching of the Buddha tells us, "Believe nothing because a wise man
said it. Believe nothing because it is
generally held. Believe nothing because it is written, Believe nothing
because it is said to be divine. Believe nothing because someone else
believes it. But believe only what you yourself judge to be true."
A friend of mine recently told me
that the Unitarian Universalist beliefs are "incredible." I agree. A
church that allows for individual search for truth is truly incredible.
For instead of creating homogeneity as many other religions do, it
allows for individuals to make up the whole, creating a true democracy.
By allowing us to keep our ~Ruby Slippers," or our inner spark, we
celebrate the best of every individual. I feel truly lucky and proud to
be one of the few to have grown up as a Unitarian Universalist. I am
thankful that this congregation welcomed me back to this faith without
question after such a long hiatus, And I am looking forward to sharing
this faith with my son — with all of its integrity, values, and
positive outlook.
Thank you.